This Monday Dec. 21st brings the winter solstice, the longest night of the year, but also the beginning of our return to longer days and more sunlight…. yay!

The winter solstice is a solar new year, a perfect moment to release that which is dying and welcome that which will be born next.

Today we welcome the equinox, a moment of equal night and day!

The light and dark come into balance for a brief pause before we start into autumn’s shorter days here in the Northern Hemisphere.

I can feel the grief rising along with the energy of fall, a time for letting go, slowing down, and digesting what has sprung forth this year.

What a year it has been, and it’s far from done… with a major election on the horizon...

Wildfires are still raging here on the west coast, turning the skies apocalyptic colors, displacing domestic and wildlife, and making air unhealthy to breathe.

"Every woman has a well-stocked arsenal of anger potentially useful against those oppressions, personal and institutional, which brought that anger into being... Anger is loaded with information and energy." -Audre Lorde

These last two weeks have been full of anger, pain and the potential for a next wave of changes around racial justice.

In this age of Co-Vid connecting has become like a unicorn... a delightful moving target that you may get to experience in you are patient, and create the perfect conditions for its arrival.

Social-distancing and quarantine life has been a major blow to creating and sustaining quality connections.

As much as I love that the internet has stepped in to save the day, and Zoom and Instagram have provided us with new social watering holes...All the added screen time comes with a cost.

I may not have used those words a few years ago. But it’s become a bit of a buzz word, I think in part because a large number of humans have some codependent tendencies.

And there’s more to explore than just what codependency is…  I have found there is an interesting connection between codependency,  independence, and interdependence, that’s worth exploring.

What is Codependency?

One of the most common complaints I hear from people I work with is that they are too tired, stressed, numb, or disconnected from themselves, to feel sensual or sexy.

And it’s no wonder with the pace that most of our lives run at... the number of responsibilities to juggle, the crises to manage, deadlines to meet, not to mention the ups & downs of being human; and somewhere in between it all we are supposed to still find a way to enjoy our lives, and our relationships.

Pleasure may sound like a good idea that feels too far away right now. I get it, life is full of responsibilities, disappointments, heartbreaks, and loss…. not to mention pandemics, oppressive systems, and other harmful threats.

If our environment is making us stressed, scared, self-critical or self-conscious, accessing pleasure of any kind becomes much more challenging.