Why I Am Celebrating

I know there’s a lot of fear and concern circulating right now about the Coronavirus…. I hope you are tending your minds and your immune systems.

And... I just celebrated a birthday on the same day as International Women’s Day! So I’m celebrating the woman I have grown into, and am continuing to become.

Being a black woman who’s a pisces…. February & March are important months for me to remember what I am made of as we reflect on the contributions of blacks and women throughout history.

I love being a woman who is black… with the strength of my ancestors at my back.

With remembrance of how to speak to the plants, and share my heart through my dance.

I love being a woman who is real…with a rainbow of emotions that I get to feel.

With anger like thunder, and joy like sunshine, with heartbreak like dark chocolate that melts over time. 

I love being a woman who revels in pleasure…. with a knowing that my precious body is a treasure. With skin that is soft, and curves that are round, with mysteries and secrets that have yet to be found.

You could say I’m sugar… spice.. and everything nice… and naughty….humble… and haughty. 

I bark and bite as well as I kiss and hug…. I can throw down… and I can make love. 

I like to create, meditate, and pontificate… about the things that connect us and help us relate. 

Laughter keeps me lifted, Spirit keeps me gifted, and Nature is my favorite companion. 

Breath keeps me going, my womb keeps me knowing, and my soul keeps me growing.

BUT…. I didn’t always feel this way about myself.

I once was lost…. looking for love in all the wrong places.

I gave myself away hoping to be cherished in return.

I was afraid that saying ‘no' was mean, and I couldn’t feel my ‘yes’.

I lived mostly in my head, and was often tight in my chest.

I bit my tongue until I imploded or exploded depending on the day.

I made myself invisible so conflict and harm would stay away.

I used my body as a way to be desired and sometimes it would feel good.

I didn’t really like touching myself as much as I thought I should.

I compared myself to more beautiful women feeling like I never measured up.

So I cultivated other talents and embraced being awkward and smart.

I often suffered in silence and called it being strong…. when the truth is that I didn’t trust people enough to say what was wrong.

I dreamed of the type of love where I felt safe and seen. Where I was celebrated for being authentically me. 

Look at me now living my dream, I am the promise of those that came before me, a child of resiliency. 

~Kamali